Thursday, January 19, 2012

Diary of a Play Date 'Newbie'

Hi and brrrr!

It's a cold day in NY and unfortunately, it does seem like 'winter is coming' (ref: the Game of Thrones books..aha I am, it seems, somewhat up to date!).

I thought I'd venture out of natural remedy territory today and talk a little about something all parents encounter in one form or another: the dreaded first 'date' ahem play date that is :) R & Z have played with a few others kids in their short lives but these have all been children whose parents I know well and am friends myself with - I had not, as yet, dared to venture into the unknown universe that is blind dates. So, here I am, on the eve of my very first blind play date and I have to confess, I'm rather nervous. Not sure what I am most nervous about but there are a few candidates out there:

  • Will they be bored? (and more so, will they drive me up the wall as a result??) 
  • Are my snacks healthy AND yummy?
  • Is my house clean or fancy or furnished enough (it's new, well old but you know 'new' to me. I give up)
  • Will the other mom and I hit it off? (and therefore will there be a repeat play date? Preferably at her house next time..haha)

You'd think I was bloody well going on a date myself. 

I have duly prepped - cleaned up, made sure I had interesting but healthy food in the pantry and arranged a couple of different activities for them in case all hell broke loose and the kids needed intervention (activities that involved sitting quietly at the dining table, focusing on the task at hand..dream on me!).    The hitting off part I can't control..or can I? Maybe I should Google interesting conversation starters for d(m)ummies.

Why are we, as parents, so nervous about our children's social interactions? I believe the apprehension stems from our own experiences - perhaps a reminder of those awkward moments in school or university and that desperate need to belong. I touched on the concept of kids getting their cues from us in a previous post - it is really such a struggle to ignore our own hang ups and insecurities for the betterment of our children but it is something we need to try to do. For our kids are unique beings in themselves - we need to let them develop their own hang ups ;-)

So, I shall brave tomorrow with my 'confident mommy' hat on - one that will ignore the brimming arguments between my son and his friend and let them figure it out on their own. One who will encourage my child's ability to deal with conflict and to be a good host. One who will ignore the unpainted handrail in my foyer. All the while, secretly, cringing every minute until it is over!!!

Let the fun begin,


P.S Would love to hear your experiences with or thoughts about first play dates. Comment away!

UPDATE - No longer a newbie!

So, it's official! I am no longer a play date ignoramus. Yayy! What did I learn from my OCD planning and preparation? NOTHING! The boys were content to run around the house, making 'booby traps' and playing with..wait for it..hangers! I will never understand the male species. 

I even hit it off with the mom and we bonded over the importance of sleeping early. Go figure!

Bring it on play date # 2!

1 comment:

  1. the last part is my fav! be brave and dont worry about this stuff.Love the humor in your post - d(m)ummies :)

    The way I look at it, if these are people that care about that handrail in my foyer, then they arent the kind of people I or my kids need to be friends with! How shallow is that? and what sort of influence will that have on my kid? Its very important to me that my kid grows up without any prejudices. He needs to learn to value people for who they are and not what they have.As a result - this stuff just doesnt count. Lucky for me - Ive met some very down to earth moms and playdates have been easy.I hope to just let the bad ones weed themselves out.... because the good ones will be friends for life! dont fret, your home is lovely because its yours and anyone who comes through the door should respect you as well as your home !
    p.s. do update the post on how it went!